Having just re-read my post from last week, I’m not in much of a mood to elaborate, expand, or continue hacking away at those futile, back-and-forth, should-I-or-shouldn’t-I thoughts that I allowed myself to be beaten up by. They’re annoying.
But their annoyingness is not the reason I don’t want to discuss the issue anymore. The reason is because I know I’m going to continue trudging along on this path, and no matter how much I go on and on about fear, and what if I suck, and man, technology annoys me, I know I’m going to keep on. So uh, matter closed for now.
It’s just that (You: “Didn’t he say the matter was closed?”) I’m a bit bummed because I got this thing I think I have talent for, and I’d like to commit myself to learning its craft, accepting myself as a novice, but the Who-Where-How aspect of it is tripping me up. Is filmmaking still a learn-it-yourself thing, a snag a book on lighting from the library, find a camera, and film something-anything, kind of thing? I’m considering applying to some film schools in order to take my time and really learn the technical side of this, but . . . is that a good idea? Med students go to med school, lawyers go to law school, etc. Hmm.
I suppose the answer is that I just have to write, but Good Lord can it be difficult to sit down, shut off the Internet, shut off the itunes, and fall down into that deep part of the soul that you know have to go to, to get anything worthwhile.
Blah.
Fitzgerald said it take a genius to whine appealingly, so since I’m not a genius I’ll quit whining right now and promise not to write any more entries like this.
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